What I Learned From a Year of Blogging

Today my blog turns one. I am very proud of this baby of mine, and blessed by all of those who have brought me to where I am today. Writing has always been a passion but I could never quiet find my “writing rhythm”. Every writing class I ever took was greatly treasured, even if I barely made it out with a B minus. Putting words together in a way that makes sense to many, as well as sounds good when reading, will always be a challenge. Yet this writing journey is something I have fallen in love with and hope I can do this for years to come.

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When I started this website, I was excited for every Tuesday morning when my piece would go live. Each Tuesday was spend replying to comments and enjoying the encouragement I would receive. Quickly, however, I learned that not every week was going to be an amazing week. Too many moments were spent looking through my analytics page, seeing what people were reading, and seeing what people weren’t reading. There were times I published something I personally loved that many did not read, and vice versa. It was hard to find my niche. But I will be forever grateful for the human beings who constantly reminded me that its not about how many people read my writing, it is about me writing. Many of us focus our creative passions around whether or not it is noticed and praised by others. We get so caught up in recognition that we forget the beauty of the practice itself.

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During the first few months of the blogs existence I came to another conclusion: I am really bad at taking my own advice. Each topic that I had planned out would always end up being something I struggled with the week I decided to write on it. Ideas would come to me about how to deal with sadness or jealousy and that same day I would have to put those ideas into practice. This is not easy. But I was thankful that 2018 was the year were I gave myself grace, the year I said no more than yes. Maybe that sounds unproductive, but for that season I became enriched. The Lord showed me that it is okay to not be all together, it is okay to not be everything to everyone.

The main lesson that I believe I have learned is this: when we are stuck about what to do in our own lives we need to ask ourselves this question: “If a loved one was in the same situation, how would I approach them?” then relay that same message back to ourselves. It blew my mind when I struggled for the words to write, the advice to give, the topic to write about, and The Lord took care of me every single time. Majority of topics were born and written in the same night (usually the night before my own deadline). Many weeks I believed I needed to hear the words God gave me to write. None of this is really easy, and it never stops humbling me. Each piece of my pride and ideas of what I’m “supposed” to be has been slowly chipped away. What is left is a woman who is thankful. Thankful for the love of family, friends, online acquaintances, even strangers. Moral of the story (and my 2019 resolution) stop making decisions (or not making decisions) because of fear. Pursue your passions and do not shy away from any opportunity to learn.

Going into 2019 beyond excited for what’s in store. Thank you and keep on reading!

Going into 2019 beyond excited for what’s in store. Thank you and keep on reading!

You Deserve To Be Sad

Sorry I used click bait. Well I only kind of did, it depends on how you read this title. Did you read it as You Deserve To Be Sad? YOU DESERVE TO BE SAD! or You Deserve To Be Sad. If your brain looks like mine… this title is meant to be the latter. Because we deserve to no longer be held to the standard that we should always be fine.

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The other day I cried. For the first time in a long time. Nothing too terrible happened but I was feeling sad. So I sat on my bed and sobbed. Mascara went all over my pillow and my nose looked a lot like Rudolf’s. In the moment it felt like nothing would ever get better. I then fell asleep on top of the covers. The next day I woke up a little more mellow, and even much more refreshed. In the midst of having a mini breakdown I felt as though The Lord grounded me. I was reminded that my foundation was strong and that even though I had a moment of visible brokenness, I was not destroyed by it. No nothing was fixed over night and no I wasn’t magically fine the next day. I realized its possible for life to get harder yet better at the same time.

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The more time past from that moment the better I felt. I was able to acknowledge even more of the good after I took some time to acknowledge what was not so good. So many of us have a hard time finding that happy medium. We either ignore what bothers us or we spend all of our time moping around. I firmly believe we deserve some moments where we just straight up feel terrible, we cry until we can’t cry anymore. But then we acknowledge the joy that comes with every new morning. You deserve to be sad because you deserve to be happy and free.

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