Please Be High Maintenance

If you know me well you know I love watching any Bachelor Nation show. That is mostly because I LIVE for Roses and Rosé (the bachelor recap show on Entertainment Tonight done by the lovely Lauren Zima). I watch every episode at least 3 times without shame- and I surprisingly learn a lot when I do…

A while back I came down with a weird cold virus and found myself watching A LOT of old Roses and Rosé episodes. I laughed, I sneezed…it was a grand ole time. As I rewatched one particular episode there was something that caught me off guard- despite this not being my first viewing of said episode. Lauren goes into talking about a moment from Ari’s seasons a while back. In this particular episode Ari is talking to a girl named Bekah and she tells him she is easy to please; she is “no drama”. While showing this recap Lauren goes “No Bekah! You do not have to be easy to please!” then discusses how women do not need to feel like they must be easy to please: that it is okay to ask for a lot (I could be butchering the exact quotes but that was the general message) After watching this I said out loud (while completely alone): “You know what?! You are so right Lauren!”.

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As I get older I have realized that I have felt a sense of guilt for not being a “chill” person. For a long time it made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Guess what?! That’s a lie.

Of course life is all about finding balance and we need to show respect to one another- but we should never compromise our own standards. There are areas in my life where I would say I am pretty high maintenance. I like it when I don’t always have to be the one to reach out to people first, I like my cooking more than others, I enjoy sleeping in a queen by myself, and I cry really easily. This is what my season of life looks like. AND I NEED TO EMBRACE IT. The more I grow and mature, I may change; but what I need to stop doing is feel like I lack something. I don’t.

This message does not mean we all have to demand the world, there is always give and take in life. The definition of high maintenance is described as “something that requires a lot of work to keep in good condition.”, I would say keep a human in good condition does require a lot of work- and should we really feel bad about that? My encouragement to you is to look at your life and ask “what do I always apologize for?”. Do you apologize for being emotional? Do you apologize for being “needy?”. Then I would follow up that question with “Is there anything I wish I could change about myself?”, are the answers similar? Sometimes the answers to these questions end up showing us that we are a lot more fine than we realize. You don’t have to change your “emotional” personality and you don’t have to apologize for wanting to have space (whatever that looks like). Surround yourself with good honest people and let your true self be free.

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