Self Confidence

Lets discuss Self-Esteem/ Self-Confidence. I have always associated self- esteem with being 13 years old, awful girls conferences, and being told make up was bad. When I was young, self esteem was not a huge issue for me. I was fortunate to have good skin, good metabolism, and generally good confidence. Yes I had my moments, but self esteem issues never consistently hung around in my young teens. Now, almost 23, its a different story. I HATE to admit I have self esteem issues. Like I said, that should be something you deal with at 13 then move on.  But that is just not the truth. It is far more complex than that.

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As I keep saying, with confidence (as with most things) there is a process.  We can go on years of soul searching and remove the bad parts from our life and mind, but believing in ourselves will always be an ongoing walk. Once I entered college, the acne started and through a combo of stress and anti anxiety meds I gained a bit of weight. These things haven't really gone away and that can be hard to deal with. I would change my eating habits and exercise consistently for a month at a time and no change would take place. Since nothing was really happening, I would give up. 

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Then a friend pointed out to me that we should not work out because we hate our body, but because we love our bodies. That really impacted me. I was incorporating healthier habits then getting mad at myself because nothing would change. But to be honest, I love the way I feel after I exercise or eat healthy. And folks, if something makes you feel good long term, that should be reason enough to stick with it.  

This does not mean you should abandon all of your old habits. I'll be real: I will never be vegan or gluten free. I love bread, meat and dairy. They're delicious and I will not give them up. I love to cook and celebrate with dessert. There are gonna be days where I indulge and I should not beat myself up for that. 

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I will also continue to love the creative world of fashion. Yes clothes can sometimes make me feel bad, but most of the time it can bring out my confidence. I get excited when I can throw on my bright yellow shirt and take on the day. I refuse to let a world of numbers and sizes defeat and shame everything God has given me. I am a child of God and that is all I need to care about. 

Any whoo, Thanks for reading my ramblings. You are beautiful and loved and I am oh so thankful for you. 

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