Waiting rooms make me uncomfortable. Doctors stress me out. I think the dentist is a terrible place to be. Obviously I felt this way as a kid but in a way it has almost gotten worse as I have gotten older. Now this is not some irrational fear that I have but more a growing discomfort at how uncomfortable these places have become.
I remember how much of a pain it was to move states and change doctors simply because I take medicine on an ongoing basis. When I arrived in Florida, I remember meeting with my new doctor and how much I hated the experience. I remember being weighed for the first time in about six months (cause I really don't think we should be weighing ourselves all the time) and the number was not something I wanted. Yet five minutes before I was feeling fine...and a stupid number acted like a wrecking ball to my self esteem. Then my doctor proceeded to ask me why I took so much medicine...she kept repeating herself "wow this is a lot...do you really need this much?" My normally confident self became paralyzed. I hate that it is so hard to stand up to someone just because they have a white coat on. Because I knew the way she was speaking to me was not professional and it made me feel judged.
Back in March I made a visit to the hospital to meet a psychiatrist. Nothing major, just a simple check up on my medication. Yet I was nervous. Once I got there I had to fill out the typical new patient paper work and that may be my least favorite part. You look at a list of symptoms and have to check off a box...to show why you are here. The principle of that just bothers me. "OK, I have anxiety, check the box." Have I accomplished something? Have I made my way down a to do list? I don't think so.
Now lets talk about my ultimate favorite...the dentist. The typical dentist fear I have gotten over, what I may never get over is there ongoing interest in having to know about my non "dentist related" medicine I take. The last time I went to the dentist, the dental assistant told me that the medicine I take may have something to do with the fact that I grind my teeth in my sleep. I politely told her that I new this already (when I could have raised my voice and let her know this is something that has been going on in my life over ten years and I am very educated on this matter) she looked at me surprised then proceeded to treat me like a delicate child. I was there just to get basic x rays done.
So for those of you out there who have maybe just started making your own appointments, or have been doing it for years, I am proud of you. I hope we can learn and grow together, while learning to ask the right questions to people such as doctors and dentist. As well as learn to stick up for ourselves when we feel uncomfortable.